On the Road with Barry – Germantown, TN

Day 1

You know that old saying? It goes something like “If you pray for patience, God doesn’t give you patience. He gives you situations in which you can learn to be patient. And if you ask God for strength, he doesn’t make you strong. He gives you situations in which you can grow your strength.” And on and on. Well, I think I might have unknowingly prayed for deliverance from the other airline, because I’ve been on the other airline three trips in a row. I also had few choices for departing flights, so I got to Memphis about the same time as the sun. I’m staying in Olive Branch, Mississippi, so I’ve got a short drive to the hotel, which won’t have my room ready until this afternoon. So, I did what all the other heathens do when they’re not attending church on a Sunday morning: I went to Waffle House.

When’s the last time you went to Waffle House? Whenever it was, you need to go again sometime soon. I love watching the folks there work. Honestly, it’s a picture of efficiency. The servers take your order and write it down but don’t physically hand it to the grill operators. They call it out and the operator just remembers it. I sat at the bar and watched the grill operators: one man was all about meat: bacon, sausage, etc., while the gentleman next to him was all about the eggs and the hashbrowns. Anyway, they were ordered. They’d cook and plate the meat and eggs, and the servers would come by, grab a plate, and finish off the orders with the sides. Everyone cooks their own waffles, though. It’s so fun to watch. I took a book in to read, something I do when I’m by myself, but the dance happening behind the counter was entertaining enough for me. My server asked me, “Do you even need a menu?”, which I didn’t because I’ve been to enough Waffle Houses in my time to know exactly what I wanted.

After breakfast, I went to Kroger where, apparently, all the heathens not at Waffle House were. It was packed. I hope the churches in Olive Branch were as full as Kroger was.

Day 2

I finally got in my room in time to watch almost all the football available and still get in bed at a decent time, so I was up bright and early for breakfast. The breakfast here at the hotel chain at which I usually stay looked promising. There were egg-like features to the eggs and what looked like bacon. The bacon, however, was not bacon. It was as if someone showed a picture of bacon to an alien with no knowledge of bacon and asked them to re-create what they saw in the photograph. It did look like bacon, but that was it.

My client Sharon had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so I had a little time to kill at the hotel after breakfast. There’s always paperwork to do and phone calls to make, so I did all I could and read a little more of my new WWI book. I’m still at the part where things are getting set up, and this morning I learned a lot more about the Ottoman Empire than I knew was out there to learn. Another factoid: Did you know that the words “kaiser” and “tsar” mean “Ceasar” in their respective languages of German and Russian? Well, now you do. You’re welcome.

It’s about a 20-minute drive into Germantown from Olive Branch, so, when Sharon calls and says she’s almost back at her apartment, I headed out to find her. Sharon has been to Leader Dog for orientation and mobility (O&M) and wanted someone to visit her in her home area to make sure the routes she’s traveling are being done as safely and efficiently as possible. Another one of our stellar certified orientation and mobility specialist (COMS) on campus, Garret, worked with her there, so I know she’s gonna have a great foundation of skills. She also worked with an intern, whose name she can’t remember, nor do I. I miss a lot of the fun stuff by not getting to campus that much anymore. Interns are fun.

Anyway, Sharon has a great set of skills already present, like everyone else that’s been on campus. Our staff on campus is fantastic. If you’re thinking of getting some more O&M, going to Leader for it is a great idea. We have a wonderful group of young instructors from whom you’ll get the best O&M in the land. And then, this old guy can come visit you at home to work on the specific routes and destinations. Just like Sharon and I did today. We went to the grocery store, three local restaurants, and a lot of stuff in between. Lots of parking lots, which are evil, evil places, and driveways.

After work, I met Tim, an old college buddy I hadn’t seen since 1989! Now, we’ve been in contact for quite a while, but I haven’t physically seen him since I left Arkansas. He had been in New York watching the Ryder Cup and flew back into Memphis before driving home. We had dinner at the Commissary, a BBQ joint in Germantown that not only had been suggested to me, but also to him in separate conversations. After eating there, it was evident why so many folks recommended it. It was so good. After catching up on all the years gone by, plus the ribs, brisket, tamales, deviled eggs, baked beans, coleslaw and banana pudding, we waddled out and I took him to his vehicle. He’s going back home after spending the night with friends in town. I headed back to Olive Branch with a full stomach and a full heart.

Day 3

Staying away from whatever “meat” is on the menu this morning. Besides, I have Commissary leftovers. Best breakfast in a while. Well, since Sunday. Waffle House was awesome. (I also had breakfast for lunch. Don’t judge me).

Sharon and I walked a route from her apartment to the doctor’s office and bank, then took a break for lunch. I then ate breakfast, yet again, at a place called Big Bad Breakfast. I had real bacon there. Quite the delicacy. And a cat head biscuit. Called a cat head biscuit because it’s at least as big as a cat’s head. Seriously. I also had grits, which is also a delicacy to me. There’s a large range of emotions brought to the surface when you bring up grits. Y’all will have to write in and let me know your thoughts. I think they’re wonderful, and Big Bad Breakfast made me proud.

After lunch, we walked the route again, which was good for Sharon because she got more repetition, the hallmark of our program. It was good for me because of the cat head biscuit. And the real bacon. And probably the grits.

The Cubs are in the playoffs versus the Padres and the first game is this afternoon. A colleague at work is sending me updates while I’m working and, despite my deep desire to check them, I wait till I get back to the rental after dropping off Sharon. We’re winning right now and keeping updated while driving is just as bad as trying to keep updated during a lesson. And, although ESPN has both an AM and FM station in Memphis, they’re not broadcasting the game. This is just dadgummed silly. And very annoying. When I get back to the hotel, I find out we’ve hit back-to-back home runs to take the lead, and I get to see them score an insurance run to take game one. The Tigers and the Cubs won, my client got better, and I had breakfast twice. It’s been a pretty good day.

Day 4

I didn’t go downstairs for breakfast this morning, but I knew they had the “bacon” again because I saw some in the parking lot next to the rental. A man who has a dog with him parked next to me and I imagine that he tried to feed the dog the bacon and he wouldn’t eat it, either. Not to criticize too much, but if the dog won’t even eat it…

Save one, all of Sharon’s routes are along Poplar Avenue. It’s a really busy, six-lane street that’s as straight as that crease in your pants after the cleaners. It’s hilly, but it goes all the way west to the Mississippi and could go east to the Atlantic. I’m not sure about that part, but it could be true. Traffic can be your friend if you know how to use it.

So many questions about alignment, timing of your street crossings, and recovery situations can be answered by the clients themselves if they’ll just listen to traffic. So, we have that going for us.

What isn’t working for us is the weather. While it’s not extreme heat advisories every day, it’s still hot in Memphis. And humid. Sharon suffered from heat exhaustion this summer and, going by her description of symptoms, got really close to a heat stroke. Once you have that happen, you’re even more susceptible to it. So, we’re careful with our time in the sun while we worked a route to Walgreens and her church. As I said before, Sharon’s skills are good. We’re looking at problem areas along her familiar routes. Places she’s gotten confused or turned around.

I ate another beautiful plate of BBQ for lunch (pulled pork shoulder, baked beans and coleslaw. I figured, secretly, y’all wanted to know), and we headed back out again. Sharon cleaned up and changed clothes during lunch, while I’m still in my sweaty t-shirt and shorts. Gross. It doesn’t matter because I just get drenched again in about 15 minutes. We’re back on Poplar and we worked a route to a couple of restaurants.

I rushed “home” to watch the Cubs get shut out in game two, and to find out the Tigers lost as well. I’m hot, tired and sweaty, and both my teams lost. I’m gonna do paperwork to finish off this not-so-great day.

Day 5

Sharon has another doctor’s appointment this morning, so I head out, after my in-room-only breakfast, to Graceland, home of the King. Elvis Presley himself. It’s a short drive from my hotel and I’m excited to see it all. I talked to my colleague Tommy about a potential future in-home client, and he wants a picture of the first peanut butter and banana sandwich I see. I get there to find out it’s $10 to park and another $40 to get in for a tour I don’t have time for. You wanna talk about disappointment. Dadgummit!

I switched focus from myself to go visit the gravesite of a young veteran with whom I had the pleasure of working with a while back. He’s buried in the West Tennessee Veterans Cemetery in Collierville. The veteran was one of those special ones, one I will never forget. The cemetery itself is beautiful, and very reminiscent of Arlington National Cemetery, with all the headstones lining up in straight lines at any angle. Very nice.

After paying my respects, Sharon and I revisit her route to the grocery store and the other locations of interest in that big, evil parking lot. She does well, even when things don’t go as planned. The world isn’t straight, flat or level, nor do things always line up. We had a series of things not go as planned and, while it took a little patience and perseverance, she made it all work in her favor.

I rush “home” again to finish watching the Tigers AND the Cubs clinch their respective wild card series. It’s a much better ending to the day than yesterday!

Day 6

Today was very different, O&M-wise. We didn’t accomplish what we set out to do, but that doesn’t always happen. If I was 100% successful at everything I set out to do, a LOT of things in my life would be different. Anyway, the day ended sooner than I’d planned, but that gave me time to finish my visit report and get up to date with my expense report. As much as I travel, the expense report is like the never-ending story. My plan is to stay updated with it, let the due date come and go, and keep right on keeping up with it. It’s a virtual merry-go-round.

I had dinner tonight with Trevor’s mom. Trevor is the veteran to whom I paid my respects yesterday. She lives in the area and when I asked if she could direct me to Trevor, she invited me to dinner with her and her husband. Central BBQ is another well-known place in the area. This one is not the original, which is right near the Lorraine Motel, where Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, and much closer to downtown Memphis. This is a branch much closer to my hotel. My cousin Bobby Gene recommended it to me. He’s a basketball coach at Little Rock and knows lots of great places to eat as well.

On our table, we had ribs, pulled pork, smoked bologna, baked beans, french fries and pork rinds. The pork rinds were made right there and were so freshly made they continued to pop all through dinner. I didn’t have the smoked bologna, and I always regret it when it’s available and I don’t partake. I had the pulled pork which I usually get and was not disappointed. The star of the show was the fresh pork rinds, though. I highly recommend.

Day 7

As per usual, I don’t write about coming home unless something unusual happens. This time, it was me at the TSA checkpoint. I “alerted” the scanner and had to get patted down. The gentleman offered me a private screening, but I declined. I have nothing to hide. He very thoroughly described what he was fixing to do to me, then did it. I happened to notice the scanner behind me had a big red target on my lower groin area. The very personal screening became even more personal. I had to remove my shoes and my belt, the first time this has happened since I got the TSA Pre-check status. Without my belt, the very personal screening almost made me lose my shorts, giving me something to hide after all. My screening was completed and I had to get back together at the benches just outside the screening area.

This reminded me that, in Milwaukee, this area is called the “Recombobulation Area”! They have signs and everything. So great. Those who have to take off their shoes, belts, jackets and sweaters get all discombobulated and need a place to recombobulate. Perfect.

Memphis had no signs. Just some benign benches. Memphis, you can do better. The moving sidewalks at Memphis are elevated and very trampoline-like. I found myself bounding along, just because I could. The men’s restroom had a new feature I’ve yet to see in all my travels: at the sink there is a U-shaped bar hovering over the drain. On the left of the U, there is an automated soap dispenser, in the middle is the water, and on the right, there is the air-hand dryer. All in one fixture. You think the automated features confuse people, and they do, but you haven’t seen anything like this. Everyone in there is waving at these things like they’re trying to hail a taxi in midtown Manhattan. We’re all used to waving at one thing at a time; now we’re waving at three. Very confusing, but quite entertaining.