On the Road with Barry – York, PA

Day 1

The other airline. Ugh. Their website describes my seat as having “standard leg room.” I’m curious who their model for “standard” is. It’s obviously someone who’s about the size of my favorite childhood G.I. Joe. Number one, I’m so far back on this plane, I might as well be on the one behind us. I’m not just in steerage, where there’s never enough lifeboats, I’m also below the water line and have no hope. Number two, I’m blessed with “standard leg room.” Getting in there is like trying to put one of those folding camp chairs back in the canvas tube from which they came. Getting back out will be a dadgummed miracle.

I’m heading to York, Pennsylvania, but I’m flying into Baltimore as it’s the closest big airport. It’s not a bad drive to York from Baltimore, according to the GPS. Only about an hour and a half-ish. The rental car facility at BWI is off campus and may be a longer drive than it is to York. I futilely searched for a vehicle with a moonroof. I’ve become enamored with the moonroof. Sadly, I have to choose one without and finally got on my way.

I was discussing travel in general with my friend Chelsea. She’s a field rep with The Seeing Eye, the guide dog facility in New Jersey, and the first in the U.S. She’s been doing this job for a long time and travels coast to coast, as do I. I told her that some of these airports not only feel very familiar but also feel somewhat comfortable. For instance, she knows a certain coffee shop in Newark is close to gates nine and ten. I knew my gate in Houston was right around the corner from a good sandwich shop. We travel a bit too much…

Photo description: Mike stands in front of his mailbox with his long white cane in one hand and his mailbox key in the other. He’s wearing a red shirt and black shorts.

Day 2

I’m in York to visit Mike, who lost his vision suddenly approximately eight years ago. After getting out of the hospital and seeking rehabilitation, Mike decided to come to Leader for orientation and mobility (O&M) instruction. Hannah and an intern I never had the opportunity to meet were his instructors there. I’m on campus so rarely these days, I miss a lot of the interns. What I want to tell you about Hannah is that you would have to go a long, long way to get a better mobility instructor than her. Mike’s foundational O&M skills are so solid, I deduced very quickly that we could move on to other things. Fine job, Hannah. You’ve automatically made my job so much easier!

This is great. Mike has a very specific list of things on which he’d like to work. Clients usually have a really good idea of areas on which they’d like to focus, but Mike has taken it to a new level. A printed list. Being a list guy myself, I can deal with this. The first thing on his list is having me look at his route to the dumpster and his mailbox. The dumpster is “easy,” and the mailbox is… not. It requires crossing an open space across the parking lot. Parking lots are evil, evil places, and crossing open spaces and keeping a straight line can be very difficult. Using his cane, he shows me how he has been doing it and I like his thought process. I honestly think what he’s figured out is probably the best way to do it. We’ll think about it some more. I want him to get out into the complex more so that his neighbors get used to seeing him out there. They’ll be much more inclined to offer assistance if they’re more familiar with him.

We grabbed some lunch and I dropped Mike off back at his apartment. I hustled back to the hotel so I could catch part of the Cubs game versus the Pirates. Well, guess what? Major League Baseball has deemed the Pirates game a local game, so it’s blacked out in Pennsylvania. Pittsburgh is three and a half hours away from me. There’s no local station broadcasting the game. This really twists my tail. No sense in that. So, I take out my frustration with a trip to Barnes & Noble where I find a book on World War I and the Apache wars. Both of which I’ve looked at before but haven’t pulled the trigger. They’re both bag books, and I just flat wanted them. I was unsupervised in a vast bookstore, and I don’t know if I can be held accountable for my actions. I may send my book bill to Major League Baseball.

Day 3

I like hitting the snooze button. Two times because I don’t like uneven numbers. Except for 5. It’s exactly halfway between, which makes it an honorary even number. Who decided the snooze button was only gonna give us nine minutes, anyway? That’s like running the 99-meter dash or giving 90 percent effort. So, I like to snooze for the earliest available even-numbered option, which is 18 minutes. All that to say, I hit “stop” instead of “snooze.” I woke up again an hour later thinking what a nice snooze I just had. You know the way the rest of this goes. Rush, rush, rush. Nothing good about that.

When I get to Mike’s (admittedly about 15 minutes late), I get to meet Kerri, Mike’s caregiver who helps him out three days a week. We start our day by again going over the list they have prepared. Kerri cares about Mike and wants him to be as independent as he can be, so it’s great that she’s around to hear and see all that we do. She’ll have more contact with Mike than I will. Some of the things we discussed were the cane and where you should take it. If you’re a cane user, except for inside your own home, I think you should have your cane with you all the time. Even if you’re with folks who you know and trust, your cane is a non-verbal clue to everyone else around that you don’t see as well as they do. Another item on the list is the use of sunglasses. In Mike’s case, he doesn’t have any vision at all, but I feel it’s important for him to wear sunglasses, or some sort of protective lenses when he’s outside and/or in unfamiliar environments. If only for protection of the eye and its socket, even though it’s not functioning properly. Walking into random tree branches, or the corner of a door you didn’t know was open is always a possibility, so I’m a big proponent of wearing something that will keep you protected. So, the list is full of seemingly small stuff, but it makes a big difference.

Day 4

Today will be different than my usual trips. I’m driving down to Washington D.C. this morning to join colleagues for a conference. My route takes me right past Gettysburg, and it takes everything in me to not pull off and make another quick visit. It starts raining really hard as I’m reaching the crux point of decision-making, and that helps me make up my mind to keep on the intended path.

Colleagues Kathryn and Rebecca, Leader Dog client Melody, her dog Barney, and Future Leader Dog (FLD) Cowboy, are all representing Leader at the DAF Giving Summit. DAF stands for “Donor-Advised Fund” and, according to AI, is “a charitable giving vehicle that allows individuals to make irrevocable contributions to a public charity, receive an immediate tax deduction, and then recommend donations to other qualified charities over time.” WAY better than any attempt I could make to explain it, for sure. If you ask me any more about it, I will not be able to answer truthfully, so let’s leave it at that. I do know that the participants at this conference are all managers of these DAF funds, or have jobs related to that. As you all probably know, Leader is completely funded from private donations, so making ourselves known to people who advise their clients on how to invest their gifts is a vital thing. My job this afternoon will be to provide walks with a blindfold and a cane for anyone who is interested. LD Barney and FLD Cowboy’s job is to bring people in. They did their jobs wonderfully, as you might expect, and I was able to provide a blindfold experience for several interested individuals.

There’s a reception with vendors displaying their wares after a break and the team met back down in the lobby for crudité (that means “finger food.” My father would cut up lunch meat and cheese on Sunday nights and we’d eat that on crackers. He called it “knick-knacks.” High society has a different name for it, but they’re all eating knick-knacks, as far as I’m concerned.) I had my first caviar tonight. I don’t know if I tasted anything at all, except the blue potato slice it was served on. The blue potato tasted much like what I think a sponge might taste, so that’s what I’m taking from that experience. I ate several things tonight that I did not recognize, and Melody and I had great fun trying to decide what we just ate.

Day 5

This morning, we’re having breakfast with DAF managers and helping them understand a little bit more about Leader Dog and its mission. Melody did a great job of describing her own journey through losing her vision and getting her independence back through three different Leader Dogs. She’s had Barney for two years now and they’re doing great. Melody and I were actually on campus at the same time when she was there getting Barney. Pretty groovy. I’m there so rarely anymore, I miss seeing that part of it.

I’m heading back to York this morning to continue training with Mike, but time has allowed me one quick side trip. There are a million side trips to take in D.C.: all the monuments from the Washington, Lincoln, or Jefferson memorials to the World War II, Korean, or Vietnam memorials, but today I chose Arlington National Cemetery and specifically the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I’ve witnessed it before, but I’d do it again tomorrow if I had the chance. If you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend it. If you have seen it, I highly recommend it again. I got there just in time to get a good vantage point to see the whole event. It’s so solemn, so honorific, it’s really awe-inspiring. If you lean, even slightly, towards the patriotic. Maybe so even if you don’t. I can’t speak for everyone, but it’s something I’m honored to witness.

I really wish I could stay and see more in town. Who knows when I’ll ever get back? But I have a job to do. I’m so blessed to have the little leeway I’ve used this morning to get to see what I saw. I have to drive right by Gettysburg, this time under super weather conditions, but I pass all the best exits in lieu of the right one. I drive really close to the site of the shooting that happened last night in York County, PA. Three law enforcement officers were killed while attempting to serve a warrant yesterday evening. Absolutely tragic and so completely unnecessary. A very somber drive indeed.

I get to Mike’s right on time, and we get right to work on that route to the dumpster and the mailbox. The absolute best way to learn these difficult routes is to do them again and again. Again, I spend a lot of time talking with Kerri about what to look for and how to best help Mike if he gets off track. She will be here long after I’m gone and will be able to help Mike more than I can.

Day 6

Mike and I started the day with something I haven’t done on the road before. We worked on self-defense. Mike is very interested in learning how to defend himself if he’s approached by people who have bad intentions. I usually teach self-defense techniques to the kids at camp every year, but this is the first time I’ve taught it to an HD O&M client. Kerri is there today and is very interested both for herself and her teenage daughters. Most often, people who are blind are approached by well-meaning people who want to help but don’t know how. All the numbers say that blind people aren’t attacked any more than anyone else, but there’s a perception out there that being blind or showing people that you’re blind by using a cane or a guide dog makes you a target. They say that numbers don’t lie, but those negative perceptions can keep you sequestered in your home if you don’t feel safe. Here’s my take on it: blindness doesn’t make you a target. Not being a confident traveler, number one, and putting yourself in unreasonable situations, make you a target. My dad taught me, years ago, to act like I know where I’m going, even if I don’t have a clue. Confidence can keep you out of plenty of sticky situations. Hone your travel skills, folks. Increase your confidence in traveling, whether it’s with your cane, your dog, or any combination of these. And don’t knowingly put yourself in sticky situations.

So, Mike, Kerri, and I work on self-defense techniques for quite a while. Mike, and anyone else who wants to use these techniques, needs to practice these so that you don’t have to think about them when they’re needed. I really enjoy doing this and am so glad that Mike asked. He, and Kerri, get good enough at these techniques that I don’t want to mess with either of them anymore! If you live in the York, PA area and are thinking that blind guy on the corner looks like an easy mark, you might catch a very pointed elbow to the throat. Watch out.

Mike and I finish our time together by running the route to the dumpster and the mailbox. Again. And again. It’s groovy because the things that I notice as a seasoned instructor, Kerri is starting to notice. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to Kerri about how to help and how to intervene without interfering. That’s something that all O&M specialists have to figure out: when to intervene, what to say, and how much information to share. And it’s different with every person with whom you work. I’m gonna stop talking, because I can rant about this all day.

I finish my time with Mike, and Kerri suggests a good, local place to eat: the Moonlight Café. I had a fine plate of spaghetti Bolognese. This is saying something because I grew up on my mother’s spaghetti, who learned how to make the sauce while she and Dad were stationed in Italy, from their Italian neighbors. Spaghetti and lasagna both have been a disappointment to me ever since, when eating them outside of my mother’s kitchen. The spaghetti Bolognese today was beautiful, no doubt, but my mother’s is still better.

I went from there directly across the street to Sarah’s Creamery for some homemade ice cream. Butter pecan. I get the same thing everywhere I go and was happy to find the butter pecan option. There was one that was supposed to taste like cinnamon rolls that I was gonna get before I found the butter pecan. I guess I’ll never know.

Photo description: A member of the 3rd Infantry Regiment in dress blues marches on a black mat laid on white marble in front of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. There is a wreath of flowers standing on a tripod in front of the tomb. In the background is a partly cloudy blue sky.

Photo description: Multiple rows of simple white tombstones on green grass. The tombstones line up at any angle at which they are viewed.

Photo description: A member of the 3rd Infantry Regiment in dress blues stands at attention to the left of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.